SCP-4264
rating: 0+x

1/4264 LEVEL 1/4264

CLASSIFIED

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Item #: SCP-4264

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4264 is contained in a standard anomalous objects locker. Any alteration to SCP-4264 is to be drafted by a team of Foundation scientists in the appropriate field.

Description: SCP-4264 is a set of lesson plans for Hampton High School in Calhoun County of the state of Arkansas, USA, printed on A4 (US letter) size papers. The plans contain multiple example questions that often posit improbable and occasionally impossible circumstances.

When the lesson is performed as described to a subject without prior knowledge of the covered topic, the circumstances of the contained questions actualize in the area of Calhoun County. Events described in the question invariably transpire in reality according to the expected answer. After completion of the lesson, the instructed subject will have a mastery of all concepts covered.

Alterations to the provided variables and starting conditions in questions written on SCP-4264 will take effect accordingly when taught. Changes made to other portions of the lesson plan will render that instance of SCP-4264 inert. Copies made of SCP-4264 do not share the original's anomalous properties.

Addendum 4264-1: Discovery

SCP-4264 was discovered on 17/08/2015 when Foundation satellites detected an explosion with an estimated force equivalent to 20 tons of TNT in Calhoun County centered at the home of John Peron, a newly hired Math and Physics teacher at Hampton High School. Agents dispatched to the blast's epicenter discovered two corpses, both identified as John Peron. The pages of SCP-4264 appeared at the site in irregular intervals over the course of the next 32 hours.

Addendum 4264-2: List of recovered questions sorted by the date written on the documents by the presumed author.

Date: 4th of September, 2015

Subject: Math

Question: Let's assume that Diego's uncle is one heck of a wild bird hunter and will bag $2x^2(3x-1)$ fowl a day where $x$ is the number of days into the hunting season. Assuming he isn't caught by the game warden and Diego never goes hungry during the holidays again, how many wild birds can Diego's uncle bring to the table after a 40 day long hunting season?

Date: 25th of September, 2015

Subject: Math

Question: Jim-Bob drinks heavily to the point that his present number of brain cells can be modeled as a function of time in days with $B(t) = B(0) - t^4√(5t^2−t)$ (t=0 being his 21st birthday). We can let B(0)=100,000,000,000. Find the number of brain cells Jim-Bob loses on any given day (t>0). Assuming Jim-Bob can operate on even a single brain cell, how long does the poor fella have for this world?

Date: 9th of October, 2015

Subject: Physics

Question: Jose is in a rush to get home from work one afternoon and drives recklessly. He ramps off a 40 meter tall hill at an angle of 30 degrees and while moving at 300 meters a second. Ignoring air resistance, how far away does the car land?

Date: 22nd of October, 2015

Subject: Math

Question: Frank's father hits a crude oil deposit of 20,000,000 liters on his land, ending a life of poverty for Frank. During drilling he accidentally breaches an aquifer in the process and water drains into the oil deposit at a rate of 20,000 liters a day. Frank's dad can pump out 30,000 liters a day from the deposit. Assuming the two liquids mix perfectly, what is the concentration of the oil pumped out after 300 days?

Date: 12th of November, 2015

Subject: Math

Question: Prove the Riemann hypothesis1 and win the class the $1,000,000 prize.

Date: 19th of November, 2015

Subject: Physics

Question: Agent Tucker of the Arkansas Game and Fish Commission is investigating the ecological collapse of several avian species in the area. While at the top of a 100 meter tall tree inspecting nests, the agent's selfie stick is struck by lightning, imparting it with a charge of -10 Coulombs. The agent manages to drop the rod while a second bolt of lightning, imparting -15 Coulombs, hits his patrol truck directly beneath him simultaneously. What is the electrostatic force applied between the selfie stick and his truck?

Date: 12th of January, 2016

Subject: Physics

Question: Nancy Harris is on the run from the cops after a CPS2 investigation into domestic violence against her children. She takes a sharp turn at 120 km/h as it starts hailing which reduces the coefficient of kinetic friction between her tires and the road to μk = 0.12. Does she run off the road and receive justice?

Date: 4th of February, 2016

Subject: Physics

Question: Agent Elion3, who claims to work for the United Nations, is returning to his hotel after vigorously interrogating a teacher for 3 hours. For reasons unknown, the force the ground applies to his feet in response to gravity fails and Agent Elion plunges straight through the ground. Assuming he is roughly spherical and experiences a drag of k=0.38 kg/m, how long will it take Agent Elion's corpse to come to a state of rest at the center of the Earth?

Date: 18th of February, 2016

Subject: Physics

Question: John is attempting to break several students out of an illegal detainment at a temporary holding facility in Calhoun County. He throws a 20kg boulder at a series of defenses consisting of one chain-link fence capable of withstanding a force of 15,000 Newtons, two cinder block walls each able to withstand 500,000 Newtons, and a steel rebar reinforced cement wall able to withstand 750,000 Newtons. Assuming the rock is spherical and k=0.24 kg/m, how fast does John have to throw it to free the students?

Date: 21st of February, 2016

Subject: Physics

Question: The city of Hampton is being shelled with chemical weapons by an entity claiming to work for the United Nations. Their base of operations in Calhoun County is approximately 100 square kilometers in area. Assuming a meteorite with a mass of 1500 kg is set to collide with the base, how fast does it need to be traveling at the time of impact to ensure the total annihilation of the bastards that murdered my students?

Date: 21st of February, 2016

Subject: Physics

Question: John needs to appear in his home 16,329,600 seconds ago. Assume he can travel faster than the speed of light and arrive at places before he leaves. Neglecting air resistance and dissipating as much excess energy as possible on arrival as neutrinos4, how fast does John need to move during a 60 second window in order to set things right?

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